Title: "Twisted Fairy Tales #1"

Authors: hotspur18 and quoshara

Rating: PG-13

Summary:  Spike enlightens the Sprog about the world.

Disclaimer:  With the exception of the Sprog, none of these characters belongs to us. 

A/N:  Set in the Dragonslayers!verse.. several years into the future. 
 

“Unka Spike?”  It was a soft whisper, sneaking into his napping brain.  “Unka Spike?  Are you in there?” 

Tiny fingers touched his face, pushing up one eyelid and peering underneath. 

“Yes, Samantha, I'm in here….  And so are you, apparently.”  The words came out with a chuckle and he grabbed the tiny waist, tickling her. 

His action was met with squirms and giggles and wriggles.  “Unka Spike… stop… stop….” 

Spike stopped and peered up at the clock, above the couch, “What are you doing up here, Sprog?  Isn't it almost yer bedtime?” 

“Is.”  she agreed, climbing up into his lap, and adjusting her ruffled nightgown around her short legs.  It was white and covered with pink kittens that were cute enough to induce sugar overload.  Illyria, never designed to be the typical mother, wanted to burn it. Xander thought she looked adorable.  Wesley thought Sam had chosen it as part of her great and diabolical plan to rule the world through the Power of Cute, and was probably right. “But I want a story and mum and dad are making googy eyes at each other…” 

She leaned in closer, as if telling Spike a secret, “They were kissing.” 

“Ah, well, wouldn't want ya ta have ta witness any of that now, would we?” 

Samantha shook her head, brown curls floating around her head in a deceptive halo.   

“So it's story time with old Uncle Spike then?” 

“Yes, please.”  The instant reply. 

“Alright then…. Settle down.” Spike helped the little girl settle herself against his chest, her thumb tucked in her mouth,  and tugged a throw down off the back of the couch to cover her feet and toes.   “Alright then… hmmmm…” 

“Once upon a time, because that's how all stories for good little sprogs start, there was....  a girl.  But not just any girl...   Well, she wasn't "The one girl in all the world" or anything like that... but she was cute and smart and clever…”  He glanced down to see enormous bright blue eyes staring up at him.  “Clever enough leastways... although she could also be a bit daft...  Okay, she could be right loony, given half a chance...  but she was so beautiful and wicked that you never minded it.…” 

The thumb came out of Samantha's mouth with an audible *pop*, “And she tied her own hair back in the morning?” 

“No Sprog, that's what she had me for, idnt it?  Just like you do.  Tie your hair back and braid it for you so it looks nice and stays out of your pretty face.“  He leaned down and nuzzled noses briefly with the little girl.  “But she also had a daddy.  A broody-faced, ham-handed, bog trotter with a brow like a caveman…” 

“Bog trotter?” From the expression on her face, he'd lost her with that one. 

“Means he was Irish, love...  a big Mick with hands that could cover the whole face of a little Sprog like you...   and he wasn't nice like your daddy.  He was mean and ugly... and his hair stuck straight up.…” 

There was a gale of giggles, “Like yours in the morning.” 

“Oi, now... everyone's hair sticks up in the morning... even yours, missy.” Spike reached down and ruffled his hand over the soft brown curls, chuckling before he continued,   “But this guy... her daddy... his stuck up all the time... on purpose…” 

“Evil hair.” She looked up at him solemnly, then ruined it by giggling again.  She'd obviously worked out who he was talking about.   

“Right smart the Sprog was…. Quicker on the uptake than her mum or da.” Spike chuckled to himself before he continued, “Yeah, right evil...    And he was mean to his girl... punishing her and hiding her dollies and locking her in the cupboard when he didn't want to take care of her.” 

“That's plain mean.”  The little face was suddenly purely her mother's… or rather the shell her mother inhabited… with Fred's big eyes dominating it. 

“But one day, the girl got away from her evil daddy... and found.... “ Spike paused,  waiting for her to say it with him. 

“Her Dark Prince…”  

“That's right, her dark prince...  Well, not that he looked much like a prince at the beginning.  He was a bit ragged and worn about the edges... a bit soft inside and out...  But still... she saw something in him…” 

Samantha jumped in, knowing this part of the story very well. 

“Effulgent. “ she pronounced it carefully, then grinned, revealing missing top teeth.  “Shiny!” 

He grinned and agreed with her,  “The shiniest...  And she helped the Prince to spruce up his edges and get harder...  *cough* …and stronger and truly be the dark prince that she saw from the beginning.…” 

“Did he have armour?  Black armour?” 

Spike nodded his agreement.  “Eventually.  He had many adventures and after he fought for his very life... he won his black armour...   And his princess loved him even more, because during these adventures they escaped from her daddy... “ 

“- And she loved him most. “ the little girl asserted. 

Spike straightened up as if any other answer affronted his dignity as a storyteller and a man,   “Of course she did.  She'd help make him exactly what he was... exactly what she wanted....   And they were very happy... until..…” 

“Until?” 

“Until her daddy caught up with them.…” Spike continued.  “He was right mad, he was...  Mad at her and mad at the Prince and... well, just mad altogether...  And this time he had plans...  to be mean to other people as well.... The man was cracked.” 

“So they stopped him?” she said it in a hushed and half frightened voice; the one that children get when they are enjoying a scare, because they just know it will be made all better before the end. 

“Yeah, with a bit of help, they did....  But somehow, that angered the princess, that her Black Prince had turned to someone else for help, and that they had hurt her daddy.  Because, even though her daddy had been evil to her... she still loved him, yeah?” 

“'Course!” Samantha's answer was positive as only a child's can be. 

'Right.. 'course... “ his voice, even after the passage of time, still sounded a bit sad, “…because girls always love their daddies.…” 

“Yep!”  Sam's voice was the confident one of a child who had never (and would never, if Xander had anything to say about it) thought anything else. 

“Right, yeah.... so anyway, the princess was unhappy then... and saw the prince as the cause of it all and she sent him away.....    And he was empty inside... and alone.... Oh, he found a few people that he thought he could care about... but none of them really wanted him...  and he was still alone... and the emptiness grew until he thought he'd lose his mind if he didn't fill it back up.”  Spike rushed past that part.  Even as a story it hurt too much to linger over. “So.... the prince took a little trip...  met up with a demon who was an expert at filling up the empty spaces in people's hearts…” 

He smoothed one hand over the curls resting against his chest, and continued the story,  “The demon set some right nasty trials for the prince too.  He had to... because, well, Sprog, you've got ta know it....  Nothing that's really worth having comes easy....  “ 

“Because 'good is hard or you can't 'preciate it'?”  the childish voice questioned softly. 

“Well, no, ya can... but somehow, it's sweeter when you work for it, ya know?  And the prince worked hard to have the emptiness inside him filled up. “ Spike told her. “And then finally, when he finished his trials, the demon granted him the Spark.…” 

“And honestly, Sprog... Once he'd got that, he wondered if being empty was not a better thing... because the Spark burned him, every day.   Left him discouraged and in pain, and confused more than anyone should have to be.” 

“Empty's worse. Unka Spike.  You said.” 

“Yeah... it is... once the pain passes...  but it's a slow, rough journey. 

But lucky for the prince... he found someone to help... he found - ” He waited a moment and then prompted her again.  “He found - “ 

“A frog?” 

Spike snorted out a laugh, “No, cute... he found  a rogue....  A wonderful rogue, with a snarky disposition.  And the rogue helped him, right from the start.  But there was one problem....   The rogue needed help himself.” 

“That's okay.” The word came out muffled due to the thumb that was now back in her mouth.  “Princes help.” 

“They try, love... they try.  But it was a battle.  Because, ya see, the rogue had been hurt by that same big old bog trotter....   Been used most foul and cast away, like you try ta do with your orange peelings... “ He waggled a scolding finger at her,  “They don't belong in my coat pocket, missy.…” 

“Yes they do,” Sam said patiently.  “Then they're hid.” 

“Yeah... hid... “ Spike chuckled.  “Well, the rogue tried to hide too... He'd help the prince and then hide from him... because... well, he was afraid.”

He leaned closer,  “And why do you think he was afraid?” 

“Um.” her nose wrinkled as if she were considering her answer very carefully.  “The armour?” 

“No, Sprog... but that's a good guess... “ He snuggled her close.  “He was afraid because he'd tried to do something nice for the big Mick... and it didn't work out and the Mick tossed him out.  Now... now he was trying to do something nice again... and he was afraid that something would go wrong and the Prince would toss him out too.  “ 

Samantha cuddled back, and scoffed,  “Silly rogue.” 

“Yes, very silly....  because even through the pain and the craziness that the prince was feeling... he saw the golden heart of the rogue.  He felt the kindness and the goodness that the rogue gave him, even when he didn't deserve it.”  Spike paused , and then waggled his eyebrows at the little girl,   “And the fact that the rogue was a right handsome bloke didn't hurt either.…” 

“You're not s'posed to tell me that part, Unka Spike!” she giggled. 

“But it's truth, love... Gospel....  and even yer mum would tell ya that.   Yer daddy too, if ya caught him in the right mood... “ He chuckled a bit evily.  “But still, it took a long time for the prince to convince him that he wasn't going anywhere.... and for the rogue to believe.  But finally he did... and they did... and they had a home...  A home with happiness and friends.... and a wonderful little Sprog that made them all smile.…” 

“And that was me, and then ev'rything was…” she grinned up at him, “…perfick.” 

“Perfectly perfect... “ He agreed.  “Now... off ta bed with ya... and if you behave, tomorrow I'll tell ya about the time that yer daddy replaced your grandda's hair gel with engine lube.…” 

“That's how you bribe her.  I always wondered…”  Wes's voice came in through the door, before the man himself appeared, and smiled at Sam, his tone belying his curt words as he ordered -  “You.  Vanish.  Disappear.  Or your daddy will come through and replace everything with engine oil.” 

He grinned at Spike, “Corrupting the young?” 

“'Course, love...   Someone has ta…”  he grinned back and set Samantha down.  “Now off...  don't forget ta brush yer teeth...  Teeth are very important... “ He grinned, going to game face and gnashing his teeth at her. 

“Shiny!” She snarled back, the effect was, however, somewhat ineffective since the most important teeth were currently missing.  She  kissed Spike, hugged Wes' legs, and ran.  The distant sound of 'I'm just goin'!' could be heard from the hallway. 

Wesley came further into the room, shaking his head.  "You do realise that she's going to tell Xander the whole story all over again, with her own additions, don't you?”

Spike put a mock-horrified expression on his face, "Oh, my no.... that would be bad." 

Wesley snorted.  "Yes, which means that - oh God, you did this deliberately, so he'd have to agree you were a prince, didn't you?" 

The horrified look was now replaced by one of complete innocence, "Would I do that?" 

"Yes," Wesley said flatly.  "Like the time you told her that daddies like bugs in their cereal as a special treat." 

"Wouldn't be the first time the bloke's ate one, after all...." Spike's lip twitched as he tried to keep his laughter in check. 

Wesley bit on the inside of his lip, trying not to give his amusement away.  "And the time she told everyone at bible class that she knew what smiting was because Mommy did it when she was a King?"  Come to think of it, that might have been Sam all on her own, but Wesley was very, very good at being suspicious. 

"Don't know why they sent the Sprog there anyway... not like Xander's any particular religion."  He answered, without answering... raising a questioning eyebrow at Wes. 

"Meeting other children her age.  And having access to unending holy water, I think.  Either that or Illyria thought you can never be too young to start terrorizing priests."  He shrugged.  "Back to the point, Spike.  Prince?" 

"Every story needs a Prince, yeah?"   

"So I'm told.  Repeatedly." Wesley grimaced.  "I am widely accepted as being the worst ever storyteller, remember?" 

"That's alright, love... I like yer stories..."  He waggled his eyebrows at Wes.  "As a matter of fact.... I'd be more than willing ta hear a bedtime story from you right now....." 

Wesley stared at him.  Then his eyes narrowed.  "And then the rogue -" the half-annoyed tone of his voice made it perfectly clear that he had heard the whole story, " - closed the door, used the nicely fitted lock on the inside, and proceeded to do things that meant the rest of the story is missing, because the censor had a field day."  And he came over and proceeded to begin kissing Spike very thoroughly indeed.  Then he broke away.  "The. End." he said firmly, and returned to his self-appointed task. 

*

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